Following the literally hypothetical response to the first five words anthrokeight gave me to talk abut, the second batch has been rushed through production to profit from the frenzy.

I would point out that these would be much more interesting if it wasn't so bloody hot.

( Round Two: )

anthrokeight gave me five words to talk about. Well, actually she gave me ten for being smart. No wonder I always skip her classes. Anyway - here are the first five. If you would like five of your own, just ask. Nicely.

( Round One: )

( The Seven Deadly Sins of Croagunk )

The thing about commuting is that you're generally always in a rush. No time to stop and appreciate the little tableaux that nature provides. Like a swan and a dog having a fight in the park.

Well, not so much a fight, more the dog barking and the swan responding by rearing up with its wing out. I'm sure their girlfriends turned up just after I saw them and went "Leave it, Rover / Cobsy, he's not worth it!"


I've now confirmed what I thought I saw one morning on the train. Virgin Trains, who like to include their name in the train's have actually called one 'Virgin Invader'. That… is not a great name.


Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings – currently difficult to get running from a copy on the Wii. Ghostbusters the Videogame – currently difficult to get running from a copy on the Wii. Conclusion – Nintendo hates the '80s.

Of course I managed it, and have come to two realisations:

One – getting the original cast to do voiceovers is great, but Lucasfilm appear to have just cloned Harrison Ford's voicebox to provide an exact soundalike, and that works as well.

Two – Busting makes me feel good. (Oh, and has anyone else noticed that Mr Parker Jr is essentially saying that he is a afraid of one or more ghosts?)

Primeval has been cancelled.

And I never even had the chance to make a post-Cutter icon. *Sniff*

Well, ITV, who's going to throw chairs at dinosaurs now, eh? Didn't think it through, did you?

Bring on the disappointing spin-off movie based on DVD sales, I say!

Christopher Lee has been knighted.

One of papers went with 'Knight of the Living Dead' and a picture of Dracula. This is actually cleverer than it looks, because the only real reason to give somebody a knighthood at 87 is because they're still breathing.

Sadly it means they couldn't use one of my headlines, based on his better-loved characters:

The city smells of Ayrshire. Not good. Tension on the air along with scent of cows. A man in the supermarket car park tries to drum up interest in a service for fixing the paintjob on cars. Maybe he'd have better luck if it wasn't called ChipsAway. Bad idea around here. "Excuse me, Sir? Can I take your ChipsAway today?" "Aye, just bloody try, pal." These people are two checkouts away from barbarism. The queues build, snaking for lack of tills. I hold back. Look at the discounted air-fresheners. Better to be free when another aisle opens. I'm first in. Unpack trolley efficiently, but not quick enough for woman behind. She puts down divider thingy before I've finished loading conveyor. Have to pile up purchases. And I'm the one they call a monster?

I don't think this country knows what it wants.

On the one hand, UKIP gets 13 MEPs on its 'out of Europe now' platform.

On the other, the BNP get two MEPs. And what's more European than electing a few fascists?

-

In assumedly unrelated news - Futurama gets a new series. Hopefully a bit punchier and a bit less running-out-of-puff-before-the-end-and-then-laying-on-the-emotional-subplot-with-a-spade than the specials.