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A recent article on an alternative eleven female Doctors as prompted me to dig this idea of mine off a forum.

It's based on the idea that several spoofs/specials we got were echoes of another timeline in which the show was never cancelled:

( And as it covers 22 years, it's a bit long.Collapse )

Longest Gaps Between Doctor Who Episodes

1. 3,225 days from Doctor Who* to Rose
   
2. 2,394 days from Survival 4 to Doctor Who
   
3. 525 days from Revelation of the Daleks 2 to The Trial of a Time Lord 1**
   
4. 303 days from Dragonfire 3 to Remembrance of the Daleks 1
   
5. 289 days from Logopolis 4 to Castrovala 1
   
6. 281 days from The Twin Dilemma 4 to Attack of the Cybermen 1
   
7. 278 days from Time-Flight 4 to Arc of Infinity 1
   
8. 275 days from The Trial of a Time Lord 14 to Time and the Rani 1
   
9. 254 days from The King’s Demons 2 to The Five Doctors
   
10. 245 days from The Greatest Show in the Galaxy 4 to Battlefield 1
    
11. 231 days from The Horns of Nimon 4 to The Leisure Hive 1***
    
12. 218 days from Planet of the Dead to The Waters of Mars

(* That’s its name. My spreadsheet, my rules.)
(** The 18 month suspension or ‘cancellation crisis'’. See note above re: naming of Season 23.)
(*** Due to the cancellation of Shada)

It's a Top 12 to show the longest break in the new run. So on 31/07/12 this will become the longest break since the show came back.

If the series doesn't start on or before 20/10/12, the gap will surpass everything except the Top Three cancellation/suspension-related breaks.

Side note - man, Who got messed about in the '80s.

So, I wrote a review of Richard Herring's Me1 vs Me2 Snooker podcast, he which liked enough to comment on and link to the twitching remnants of this blog, and so I present the review for the record:

The end of everything
In a culture overly focused on sport, art, mental health, identity, competence and excitement, Herring delivers a hammer blow to all these phantoms that is at once devastating and as gradual as suffocation by an annual grain of rice.

The walls have fallen and the howling void that is not even a void has been revealed. There is no need to ask what we can do after this, as it leaves nothing in which to do anything.

A star rating? Irrelevant by dint of it being the only thing that is relevant.

All the starts that ever were, collapsing into a single point so small that it ceases to be.

Rich is on tour. You should go see him.

Fair fa' your plastic packet seals
Great chieftain o' the ready meals!
Picked up oan 3-fur-2 type deals,
Wi’ a pasta.
Fer oven cook the film it peels.
Micro’s faster.

Yon tray wi’ random bits o’ sheeps
An’ pre-packed layers o’ tatties, neeps
Placed in yon box with five quick beeps
Ye start tae spin.
And then be left to stand and steep
Fer just wan min.

It says ‘Serves wan, yon pack provides
A fair chunk o’ your daily guides
Of stuff bad fer your poor insides.
Such as ‘sat fat’.
(But no-one in Scotland abides
Who cares ‘boot that.)

And then naebody goes and learns
The five or so lines of Rab Burns
They meant to, so they skip their turns
And huv their drams.
Frae Morningside tae Newon Mearns
And bits wi’ bams.

Anyway, as I was saying...

Oh, hang on, I just have to nip out again for a bit.

I went to a wedding. It was fun, I had fun, I would recommend this wedding to anyone of my age. I would also recommend that anyone of my age work out how long it last was since they went a ceilidh, and adjust their dance schedule accordingly. Ow.

Anyway, the most important and moving part of the ceremony was, of course, my reading. A few people asked for an encore on the day, having been distracted by small shouty people, but sadly there was free beer so that didn't happen.

I therefore re-present here:

( A Lovely Love Story, by Edward MonktonCollapse )

Welcome the wonderful world of the Doctor Who comment. I'm sure you're very excited and keen to get on with letting everybody know your opinions, but caution - you can't just go posting any old rubbish, oh no.

You have to pick a particular style of rubbish.

Let's have a look at a few examples, and hopefully you'll be able to find one that suits your own individual borderline personality disorder.

The 'Little Knowledge is a dangerous thing'

Der! Can nobody count? Zero regenerations.

He had 12 regenerations, he's used 11, and the 12th belongs to the Dream Lord / Valeyard.

[Later clarification] One for each transition = 10, plus one for that incident with the hand and Donna = 11.

The 'Presumably Makes Sense to You'

1. the division clearly shows what happens at the "kids table," i'll be avoiding those "ASBO" yammering. for better or (more) worse, Luke's replacement is inevitable -- they're just sidekicks after all.
2. Tegan is ... fighting for Aborigine rights -- her M.O. is to throw everyone under the bus... while having a fit trying to figure out the controls.

The 'Doctor Who is Serious Business'

Either the Doctor must one day address the issue with the dignity it deserves or someone with authority on the matter must relay the information as it is and explain why the regeneration limit has changed. IMHO

The 'Not Angry, Just Disappointed (and Pompous)'

For a writer to have the lead character ambiguously contradict long established canon so flippantly, reflects entirely on the writer.

The 'I Am Apparently Watching a Different Show to Everybody Else'

People watch the Sarah Jane Adventures? No offense to those that enjoy the show, but it seemed like lite beer to me compared to the original series. I like dark full bodied Who, not watered down Who.

The 'Why Am I Surrounded by Imbeciles?'

I love how STUPID people who claim to be reporters are. The line was NOT “How many times can you regenerate” it was “How many times can you CHANGE?” Which is a helluva a lot different from REGENERATE. Romana changed SEVERAL times before settling on a final form for Romana II. And the second Doctor was given a number of choice to change into while being forced to regenerate. Never confuse the facts with the truth. They are so very different. LOL

A medley of the 'Keeping It All in Perspective' and the 'What Are You Really Angry About?'

Way to destroy the complete integrity of the program and jump all over the graves of dozens of hugely talented writers and actors who made Doctor Who what it was.

Not that Russel T Davies didn't manage to do that in his second episode with the fart gags. I've seen dead cats with more writing talent than RTD. The man isn't fit to lick the boots of Robert Holmes or Terrance Dicks (The true creators of Sarah Jane Smith).

Don't worry if none of these styles really suit your TRUE FAN perspective, just have a look at a Doctor Who forum and you'll see dozens more, each as entrenched as the last. If you're very lucky, you might even get to see one line in a spin-off program result in a hundred posts about what counts as 'canon'.

WARNING - When typing you comments, DO NOT imagine them transposed to a different children's show. This will make the whole thing seem a bit silly.

"Trumpton died for me today!"
"This lazy hack of a producer is ruining In the Night Garden!"
"The new Tinky Winky is a pale imitation of his predecessor!"

-

With 'thanks' to:

This Guardian article for the first two examples.
This Den of Geek article for the second two.
This io9 article for the fifth.
SFX for the penultimate.
This other Guardian article for the final crowning example.

So, today I had to go to a feedback meeting at work regarding the recent employee survey. This was voluntary, in the sense that the manager drew my name and said I had to go. I did indicate the Pyrenees of paper where my desk used to be in an attempt to show that I was slightly busy, but no dice.

The following are my notes. (Mental ones, I didn't bother taking a pad.)

• Why is everybody complaining that the Executive Committee are not visible enough? I'm so far down the line it's like the inhabitants of Innsmouth moaning that Cthulhu isn't responding to their black sacrifices.
  
  
• This table is the shape of the prongs on Galactus' helmet. Hey, I wonder if it could be re-arranged to form a logo for The Wheat?
  
  
• People aren't understanding the company's goats? Well, they puzzle me too. Oh - goals. This projector is terrible.
  
  
• We are using ORC's industry salary benchmarks? That explains it. They'd be happy with a pig on a spike and a goblin to bully. Not that I'd say no to a goblin.
  
  
• The chocolate digestives must be passed to the left, like port.

Conclusion - maybe they should have sent somebody who cares enough to remember what they're getting paid. My only request of the company has always been that, if they sack me, they tell me on the Friday.

I don't want to go ironing a whole week of shirts for no reason.